Overheard in the ICU Today

Resident 1: Did that patient die?

Resident 2:  Yeah, celestial discharge.

Resident 3:  D/C to JC.





Resident 1:  Hey, did you call Urology to see the patient?

Resident 2:  The rod squad?

Resident 3:  The stream team?




Resident 1:  Did you check that guy's penis?

Resident 2:  That's what she said......




Fellow:  How'd the tap go?

Resident:  Good....I tapped him twice.    Er....(giggle giggle).



Apparently the ICU team has regressed to 12 year old boy humor. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hello Friends!

Hey there!  So, I've noticed that I have a few followers of this here little blog.  While I know most of you...some of you are peeps that I haven't actually met.  And that leaves me wondering....Who are you?!?!  I'm excited that you think my blog is worth coming back to (you must have a lot of time on your hands) and I'd like to know more about you.  So if you have the time, leave a comment and introduce yourself.  This will kind of be like a bridal shower where you go around the room introducing yourselves one by one.  And if I already know you, feel free to leave a comment as well.  And if you just stumbled on my blog because you googled "pigs feet" and this is were you ended up, you can also leave a message! 

Word to your mother.....

I See You - Life in the ICU

I think I finally have my sleep cycles straightened out.  It was a bit difficult going from working nights to working days, perhaps what jet lag feels like.  Anyhow, it's nice to be able to sleep at home, in my bed, with my super-cute and cuddly husband.  And it's also nice to be able to put my little Peanutty girl to bed with a big smooch and hug each night. 

I'm just a few days into my ICU rotation and it has been a whirlwind so far!  On my first day, I got to place an art line, watch a chest tube insertion and see an autopsy. 

I'd never seen an actual autopsy before and it was an experience I felt like I needed to have as a doctor.  We spent a lot of time with cadavers in med school, but they are so altered by the preservation process that they hardly seem like real people.  The autopsy was just crazy because the body was so freshly deceased.   The pathologist had already started the procedure when my senior resident and I showed up.  We walked into a big room, and there in the center, on a metal slab, was the patient.  Chest and abdomen were opened up and all of the organs had been removed.  It looked like something out of a horror movie.  The pathologist slowly and methodically sliced into all of the organs to take samples for analysis.  He looked more like a butcher than a doctor.  It's amazing the things people can get used to after doing them on a daily basis for several years. 

Pathologist: Hey, have you seen the pancreas?

Assistant:  Well, I'm sure it's around here somewhere (rumaging through the abdominal contents which have been placed in a large bucket).

Very surreal.


I almost got to start a central line today but my senior resident beat me to it.  I'm going to have to start being a little more aggressive.  Instead I got to take another stab (quite literally) at an art line.  This one I missed....dogonnit!  Intern fail.  Then the med student came in and got it.  I haven't seen my ego since...last I heard she was in Bermuda. 

Okay...I'm having a really hard time keeping my eyes open.  I'm going to go to bed now.   Then I'm going to get up at 4:30 and go back to work.  Where I live. 

Hello....I suck at blogging.

My apologies for being a blogging failure.  And I don't have a great excuse for being MIA....my schedule has been relatively tolerable for the past month or so.  Right now I'm on nights at the VA, so I'm actually blogging in the middle of taking random calls from nurses.

Some of my favorite pages so far:
 - Um, hi....Dr. Bartlett?  Yeah, so this patient is complaining that his butt feels paralyzed....

 - Hello Dr. Bartlett.  This patient has a blood sugar of 350 and he is on a regular diet.  AND I found candy wrappers in his room.  He needs a diabetic diet and a diabetes educator to visit him.  (Now this would be a perfectly fine page, except that it occurred at 2:00am.  I'm sorry, but we don't have diabetes educators on call for STAT consults in the middle of the night.) 

 - Hi there, I'm calling about Mr. X....on the red team.
    (Dragging myself out of bed, finding my glasses)  Well, I don't have that person on my check  out list.  Are you sure he's a red patient?
    Yes...Mr. X....on the red team.
     I didn't get check out on him....is he a new admit?
    No....he's been here a while.
    (I look in the computer and find that Mr. X is on the green team)
    Well, it looks like he is on the green team.....
    Oh....oh my goodness.  So sorry....
    Humph!

 - Hi Dr. Bartlett.  Ms. R is having 9/10 pain!!!
  Where is her pain?
  EVERYWHERE!!!
  (I walk up 6 flights of stairs to evaluate the patient....who states upon my arrival that "well, I'm really not doing too bad."  With a smile on her face...at 1:00am)

After this experience, I'm convinced that patients lay around all day thinking of ridiculous reasons to wake me up in the middle of the night.  So far, they are winning.  And the nurses seem to be in on it. 

Okay....patient with pressure dropping....I'm off.  And no mom, they don't need a chest tube :)