....continued

Where was I? Fentanyl, c-section, Louisa screams.... ah yes. So Louisa Grace Bartlett was born on August 17th at 7:50 pm and weighed 7lbs 7oz and was 18.5 in long. I don't remember a whole lot about what happened after I heard Louisa scream for the first time. I think I let myself relax after that. The thing I do remember is the horrible pain I was feeling in.... my shoulder???? Yes, after 20 hours of labor and finally a c-section, the only pain I'm feeling is in my shoulder. Dang phrenic nerve! Okay, I probably shouldn't slander the phrenic nerve since it's pretty important for, oh, breathing, and thus, life, but seriously....PAIN! I asked the nurse anesthetist for something to ease the pain, after all, this was the guy administering the fentanyl. And what did he give me? A hot pack. Thanks dude.

At this point, Dr. S is working on my uterus and tells Danny that he should get a picture. Awesome!!! No, seriously, I think it's AWESOME that I have a picture of my uterus and even more awesome that Danny was cool with taking a picture of his wife's innards. Then Dr. S closes me up using some new staple gun that they had in the OR. I probably would have done a running subcuticular, but that would have taken forever (especially if it was me doing it - picture a little old man, hunched over, painstakingly painting a model car under a magnifying glass - this is me suturing - but my incisions are pretty, by golly!).

The next thing I remember is being in the little recovery room, shaking because of the drugs. Then they brought Louisa in to me and I think I cried a little. Then my dad gets all teary as he takes out a little blue box from Tiffany's and hands it to.....my mom???? For real? Where's my box from Tiffany's? I did all the work and gave him his first grandchild! Cotton-pickin'! It's cool though, I'm over it. And my mom got a lovely "Grandma" charm for her charm bracelet. After that lots of family and friends came in to see us and hold Louisa. Louisa was bright eyed and was checking everybody out.

Then they wheeled me to my room, which was a double room, so Danny got his own bed to sleep in. The next few days were kind of a blur. Lots of family and friends visiting. I got to order my breakfast, lunch and dinner from a handy-dandy menu on the TV. Emily brought me an orange cream slush! I was a bad patient and didn't really get out of bed except to go to the bathroom. The nurse made fun of me because I put my TED hose on backwards. I developed the itchiest, most awful rash EVER on my tush. This may have been the most horrifying part of the whole experience. And not only did my tush have a rash on it, but my tush was HUGE, so there was lots of tush to itch. And the rest of me was huge too. Thank you IV fluids. I thought surely I'd loose a couple of pounds, you know, having a baby and all, but I was fatter leaving the hospital than when I came in. Feet and ankles were unrecognizable. Demoralizing!

Then we came home. Loading Louisa up in the car and driving on THE STREET with OTHER CARS was FRIGHTENING! But we made it home in one piece and settled in quite nicely. The dogs were very excited to finally meet their little sister. I was able to wean myself from the percocet pretty quickly, mostly because I wanted to have extra to sell on the street (call me if your interested - I may have some xanax too - I kid, I kid).

As soon as Louisa was born, Danny turned into Super-Dad. He's been changing diapers, doing house work, charting Louisa's feedings, poopy diapers and wet diapers, assembling breast pumps and loving on his girls....ah, we are blessed! He also really enjoys brushing Louisa's hair, which is the most adorable thing ever.

Welp, I think that covers most of the highlights from the birthing extravaganza. I have a few stories about my nurses, but I'll save those for later. And I have another "inappropriate comment" story, but I'll get to that later as well.