Hello....I suck at blogging.

My apologies for being a blogging failure.  And I don't have a great excuse for being MIA....my schedule has been relatively tolerable for the past month or so.  Right now I'm on nights at the VA, so I'm actually blogging in the middle of taking random calls from nurses.

Some of my favorite pages so far:
 - Um, hi....Dr. Bartlett?  Yeah, so this patient is complaining that his butt feels paralyzed....

 - Hello Dr. Bartlett.  This patient has a blood sugar of 350 and he is on a regular diet.  AND I found candy wrappers in his room.  He needs a diabetic diet and a diabetes educator to visit him.  (Now this would be a perfectly fine page, except that it occurred at 2:00am.  I'm sorry, but we don't have diabetes educators on call for STAT consults in the middle of the night.) 

 - Hi there, I'm calling about Mr. X....on the red team.
    (Dragging myself out of bed, finding my glasses)  Well, I don't have that person on my check  out list.  Are you sure he's a red patient?
    Yes...Mr. X....on the red team.
     I didn't get check out on him....is he a new admit?
    No....he's been here a while.
    (I look in the computer and find that Mr. X is on the green team)
    Well, it looks like he is on the green team.....
    Oh....oh my goodness.  So sorry....
    Humph!

 - Hi Dr. Bartlett.  Ms. R is having 9/10 pain!!!
  Where is her pain?
  EVERYWHERE!!!
  (I walk up 6 flights of stairs to evaluate the patient....who states upon my arrival that "well, I'm really not doing too bad."  With a smile on her face...at 1:00am)

After this experience, I'm convinced that patients lay around all day thinking of ridiculous reasons to wake me up in the middle of the night.  So far, they are winning.  And the nurses seem to be in on it. 

Okay....patient with pressure dropping....I'm off.  And no mom, they don't need a chest tube :)