Thursday, March 3, 2011

A Lament

I've been a little bit gripey the past few days.  I will blame this on my wonkey sleep schedule and call it "lamenting" rather than "griping."  Capiche?

My first lament involves Panera.  It has nothing to do with the taste of the food or the quality of the service, but rather the fact that they have plastered the nutritional information of their food all over the menu.  Gone are the days where I could assume that because I was eating a turkey sandwich and small bowl of mac n cheese, that I was making a wise dietary decision.  I can no longer claim ignorance.  Now I know that a bowl of mac n cheese (oh Wisconsin cheddar....you will be the death of me) and a turkey sandwich have 1460 calories and 82 grams of fat.  Gah, I say!  The only thing that could possibly be worse than knowing the nutrition information of my food is seeing a picture of the cow Ruth Chris butchered to make my filet mignon.  Devastating.

Lament #2.  So, I just got a cute new pair of glasses.  They make me look smarter and more sophisticated.  I started at a 0 on the smart and sophisticated scale, so this is quite a little victory.  I have been wearing them for the past several days, and during that time, when I would look in the mirror, I looked a bit thinner.  Not that I had any reason to be losing weight (see above lament), but I was excited none the less.  Fantastic!  So today I decided to wear my contacts.  I took a bath, looked in the mirror....and did not look thinner!  Blast!  My glasses were deceiving me.  My soul weeps.

I could go on, but I'm going to chose to be a positive person now.  Cup is half full.....of cold coffee....

Over and out. 

2 comments:

theJovan said...

You could write a book about nothing at all and people would read it and read it :-D
So how 'bout getting around to that, eh Erma Bombeck?

Sarah Beyer said...

Wholeheartedly agree with Jovan. Only you could gripe and be laugh out loud funny rather than annoying. I love it.