Saturday, September 27, 2008

Differential

So....here's a list of some things that are plaguing me:

Pink, shiny papule right below my left clavicle....probably a basal cell.
Rough, scaly skin just distal to afore mentioned papule....potentially actinic keratosis, or squamous cell.
When I lay down to sleep at night, I can feel my abdominal aorta pulsating strongly - probably an AAA.
Random chest pain - most likely prinzmetal angina.
Occasional pain in the region of my right scapula....gall bladder must be acting up.
My left leg has been aching lately. Feels like bone pain. I don't think I'm growing anymore, so that leaves me with bone cancer.
I clear my throat a lot, as do my mom and grandma. I think we've all got silent GERD. Probably erosive esophagitis too.
I'm pretty sure my panic disorder is resolving - I can drive on the highway again, thank you very much - but I think I may have developed a little OCD. I check to make sure that things are unplugged or off SEVERAL times before I leave the house because I don't want my house to burn down, incinerating my animals. Completely rational, right? Thought so.
I could probably make a case for IBS, IBD, Crohn's or UC, but I'll leave those details to your imagination.

That's if for now. I would hate me if I were my patient.

2 comments:

Adrienne said...

Christi,
This is hilarious, though I don't doubt you have aches and pains...or that some could actually account for something...but 'tis true...the more you study, the more you begin to self-diagnose. My little sis is a PA and while she was in school, every other day she'd call with her latest disease. When I did research nightly at the hospital with Noah, I had every disease in the book...and frankly, so did he!

Happy Studies! Thanks for letting me say "hi".

Mike Bartlett said...

Christi,

I always wondered if doctors self-examined stuff like that. Now I know. I guess sometimes, ignorance is bliss.

"I could probably make a case for IBS, IBD, Crohn's or UC, but I'll leave those details to your imagination."

I'm an expert on IBD/UC and possibly mild OCD. But, that's about it.

Oh, and those pictures are terrific. I don't seem to get the same quality from my crappy cell phone camera.

Tell Danny I said "Hey".