An ill-conceived idea

Okay....my 10 year high school reunion is coming up. In FIVE days! I'm super excited, but a little disappointed that I won't exactly be looking like a super-model when I see all of my old friends. What is it about reunions that bring out the vanity in people? Oh well.

So, in a last ditch effort to lose the last 15lbs of baby weight, and be as super-modelish as I possibly can be, (Okay, so petite super-modelish. Is there even such a thing? Petite/plus size? I digress) I decided to go jogging today. Sounds totally benign, right? Little jog around the neighborhood....

Mistake #1: Mabel sees me putting on my tennis shoes. She KNOWS what that means and proceeds to work herself up into a full fledged TIZZY. She started barking and whimpering and was threatening to wake up a sleeping Weezy, so I put her in her kennel (Mabel, not Weezy). Then Charlie was standing there looking at me with his one, sad little eye, just beckoning me to take him with me. Here is my dilemma - take Charlie, who is standing by the door looking all together pathetic, or take Mabel, who is the instigator of all buffoonery around our house. The one who could use a good walk to get rid of some of her energy.

Mistake #2: I walked past Mabel's kennel to get Charlie's leash. Ooooh, she was none too pleased. Now I'm feeling super-guilty so I let Mabel out. This was the point of no return, their excitement at the prospect of taking a walk had reached fever pitch.

Mistake #3: At this point I should have just given the dogs treats to appease them, but instead I put their leashes on them and headed out the door. But not before asking Danny to say a little prayer that all 3 of us would make it home in one piece.

The dogs were horrendous on our walk! It's my own fault for not walking them regularly, yes Caesar Milan....exercise, discipline and then affection....I know, I know. I tried all of the dog-whispering tricks that I could think of, but ultimately, my dogs know that I am a piss-poor pack leader and they walked all over me. And by walking all over me, I mean pulling me down the street, this way and that, Mabel going one way and Charlie going the other. One would stop to chew on an acorn while the other took off after a squirrel. I felt like Mel Gibson at the end of Braveheart when they tied him up by his arms and legs and stretched him in different directions. I'm really surprised that they didn't strangle themselves, the way they were pulling on the leashes. All I heared the entire way was HEEEH HEEEEH HUUUUUH HUUUUH (choking....) HEEEEH HEEEEEH (slobber flying, more choking...).

I finally made it home, with both dogs in tow. I guess the walk was a success in the sense that I didn't lose either of the dogs and I managed to keep my shoulders from dislocating. I dropped them off with their father, and feeling like I really accomplished nothing, I headed back out for a little jog.....REUNION PEOPLE!!! I made it further than I thought I would and probably burned all of 20 calories before I got home, popped a nitro, took an aspirin and put my O2 mask on.

Maybe I'll try again tomorrow, sans the dogs.