P QRS T

For the last 3 years or so, I've had some irregular heart beats.  It's really no big deal, I'll notice one or two episodes every day, and they don't cause any symptoms.  But for the last 2 weeks they have been getting pretty out of hand.  My heart is usually pretty chill....tickin' along at about 62 beats per minute.  But recently, it has been downright misbehaving!  At one point, I was having these little premature ventricular contractions (PVCs) every 5 beats.  Even though it's probably completely benign, it's a little unnerving when you can actually feel your heart going into a weird rhythm.  So last week I made an appointment with my doctor.  Wouldn't you know it....pesky little PVCs pretty much stopped as soon as I got off the phone with the receptionist.  I went ahead and kept my appointment though and I saw my doctor today. 

Nurse:  So, what brings you in today?

Me: I've been having some irregular heart beats.

Nurse: (eyes almost pop out of her head)  Oh.  My.  Are they associated with any anxiety?

Me: Well, you see, I'm going to be a doctor here pretty soon, and people's lives are going to be in my hands, and I'll be responsible for not letting them die and/or killing them, and then there's Weezy, who I'm afraid I'll never see after I start residency because I'll be working all the time, and then when I'm done with residency, she'll be 4 and she won't remember me and she'll have lots of bitterness because "you weren't there when I needed you!" and then she'll be in therapy when she's 30.....    No.

Nurse:  Okay then.  I'm just going to take your blood pressure.   Oh, 122/72.  That's very good!  Very good.

Me: (Please don't ask me what kind of work I do.)

- Doctor comes in....blah blah blah...EKG...blah blah blah...blood work.  Wham, bam, thank you ma'am! -

(Doctor leaves, nurse comes back in)

Nurse: Okay then.  The doctor wants you to get an EKG.  Have you ever had an EKG before?

Me: No, but I was on the monitor when I had my c-section.

Nurse:  Well, see here....I'm just going to put these little sticky pads on your chest.  You don't have to do anything.  Just lay back and relax.  It's really pretty quick and easy. 

Me:  (Please don't ask me where I work.)

So I got my EKG.  Of course it was normal.  And my heart rate was 62.  Because that's how it rolls beats. 

Then I went down the hall to the lab.  The phlebotomist (person who draws blood) had the personality of a clam, and apparently the dexterity/coordination/depth perception of my one-eyed dog Charlie.  I have pretty good veins, so it's usually no big deal when I have blood drawn.  Not the case today.  No siree Bob-O!  After she missed my vein on the first try, instead of drawing the needle out and staying superficial (because that cotton-picking blue thing RIGHT under my skin, is, in fact, my vein) she gouged the needle in even further.  I don't know if she was trying to hit artery or bone or what, but I gave her a look of disapproval, threatened to pass out, and suggested she try the other arm.  A-hem!

And now I look like a heroine addict.

So that was my day at the doctor's office.  I think my doc was going to wait and see what my blood work looks like before she sends me off for an event monitor (basically a portable EKG machine that I have hooked up for a day or so.) 

The funny thing is that the treatment for PVCs is usually a beta blocker.  Beta blockers slow your heart down.  If my heart slows down much more from its lazy 62....well....that probably wouldn't be a good thing.  I might just have to deal with my ventricles acting up every once in a while. 

And just for your edumacation....

This is a normal EKG:

And this is what a PVC looks like on an EKG

That's all I know.  Seriously.  And I had to google that.