Colorado.....where the wind comes sweep....er....nevermind

Okay, so I was going to write a series of entries, one for each day we spent in Colorado, but, you see, my time is running short.  So here's the quick and dirty.

Danny and Christi; Adventures in Colorado.

Day 1:

Drive to Denver.  I have a bit of a cold, so I buy some Vick's Vapor rub at a gas station and slather it on my neck and chest.

We spend the night in Denver (which is a rockin' town - if you didn't already know).  I become paranoid when I read a notice next to our hotel door that says: For your safety, please bolt and latch your door.   And then I was tempted to sleep with a knife under my pillow.  But that seemed kind of dangerous.

Day 2:

Wake up with rash all over my neck and chest.  Strong work, Dr. Bartlett.  Got a little carried away with the Vicks.  Glad I didn't put it on my face.  Continue driving to Redstone.  Stop for lunch in Carbondale.  Eat the most delicious burger ever.  Go to the pharmacy and pick up some steroid cream....because steroids fix everything.  Except TB.  And they can make your testicles small, but that's not really a concern of mine.

Check into The Avalanche Ranch.  Sit on porch, take in view of mountains, drink hard cider.

Day 3:

Wake up to a mild, yet strange odor.  Reconcile that it is merely my feet.  Forget about said odor.
Go for a hike on a desolate, isolated, abandoned, unpopulated trail.  Become paranoid that we will be eaten by a bear.  Especially after seeing this:

Clearly the paw print of a very large, mean, people-eating bear.

And then this.....

Most likely left over from a bear attack.  Probably human, but I have no way to confirm this.

Do you see the crazed "I'm-convinced-a-bear-is-going-to-eat-me" look in my eyes?

Look closely, it's there!

Luckily my psychosis didn't keep me from enjoying the scenery.

Because I like to plan ahead, I made Danny rehearse what we would do in the case of a bear encounter.  It went something like this:

Me:  What if we see a bear?

Danny:  I don't know (clearly not concerned).

Me:  No, really!

Danny:  I don't know.

Me:  Well, I've heard that if you stand really still, they can't see you.

Danny:  I'm pretty sure that's the T-Rex in Jurassic Park.  Doesn't work on bears.  

Me:  Blast! 

~ THE END ~

So, I guess we really didn't have a plan.

Returned to cabin.  Again noted smell.  Continued to assume it was my feet, socks, shoes or some combination of the three.  

Day 4:

Drove to Aspen.  Very upscale and kind of snobby.  A bit like the plaza, but in the mountains.

Danny buys Northface jacket.  I get nothing but annoyed and resentful.  

Spend more time in Carbondale.  Attend local rodeo.  Resolve to move to a ranch and spend my time wearing Wranglers and barrel racing.  Will make a cowboy out of Danny.

See?  He clearly loves this. 

Imagine Weezy having field parties on our land.  Imagine the debauchery this entails.  Resolve to stay in the suburbs and send her to the strictest of private Christian schools.  

Day 5:

Smell is worse.  Danny believes that while my feet are generally rancid, this smell is a bit more carcass-y.  We alert ranch staff and they relocate us to a new cabin.

Go horseback riding with Cowboy Randy and his staff of ranch hands through the mountains.  

Danny does an exceptional job for a beginner.  I nearly drop my mom's camera and fall off my horse as we go galloping through a field.  Poor job for a seasoned equestrian city girl who used to have horses. 

Luckily I didn't drop the camera and managed to get some cool pics.

Of course I asked Cowboy Randy about the bears.  He assured me that in the 5 years he'd owned Avalanche Outfitters, he'd only been charged by a bear 4 times.  And really, it's the mountain lions that are dangerous.  

Thanks for putting my mind at ease, Cowboy Randy!  Now, do you have any xanax?

At least the cowboys had their pistols and hunting knives handy. 

Finished horseback ride and hopped off my horse like I was John Wayne.  Landed on noodle legs and prayed to God that I wouldn't fall over.  Clutched horse's neck until I could use my legs again. Couldn't sit comfortably on my tush for the next several days.   

Day 6:

Missed our girl way too much.  Got up early and headed out of Dodge....or toward Dodge?  Heck, where is Dodge?  

Made good time.  Made fun of Danny and his issues with Cruise Control.  If I get a chance, I'll address this annoying quirk of his in a new post.  But.........

If you don't hear from me in the next 3 years, it's because I'm starting residency this week.  If I have any extra time in my schedule it will be used for sleeping, eating and bathing.  Hopefully I can maintain the blog on a somewhat regular basis (because I'm sure I'll have lots to blog about and I know that you depend on me), but I'm not promising nuttin'.  

And here are some more pics from our trip.....

On our way through Kansas, saw hundreds of these weirdo things.  I'm sure they're good for energy and what-not, but they're kind of creepy.

Cookies waiting for us in our cabin when we checked in.

I could be really obvious and tell you that this is the kitchen, but I won't.

I spent a good amount of time in that tub.

Danny prefers a shower to a bath.  He claims that a bath is nothing more than sitting in your own dirt.  I don't know who asked him to open his pie hole and spout out his opinion. 

My dream house will have a clawfoot tub.

Our first cabin.  The carcass-y one.

Danny in the Morning with Coffee - by Ansel Adams Christi Bartlett

My little hummingbird friend.

Dandelion path

Does anybody know what these are?

Does anybody know where I left my keys?

Obligatory blurry water shot, thankyouverymuch.

No bears here....

I like to eat a balanced diet - here I'm drinking my fruit group.

My fruit group makes me act silly.

Danny laughs at me when I'm silly.

I laugh at Danny when he wears tennis shoes to ride a horse.  Even though my boots were totally Steve Madden.  Not exactly intended for s#%t kicking.

It just does not get much better than this.

Avalanche Ranch Path

Look at me, I'm artsy. Or a tool....take your pick.

If I could drive any vehicle in the world, it would be this truck.  We parked next to this bad boy in Paxico, KS.  Did I just say "bad boy" on my blog?  How embarrassing for me.

Love

More Paxico

And some bathtubs...

And now......

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....................

                                                                                ..........The sound of me falling off the face of the earth.