The Conundrum

(You will learn in this blog that Charlie can speak. His voice sounds much like Anthony Hopkins character in Legends of the Fall after he has a stroke. Much like the scene where he says, "Screw em!" repeatedly. This knowledge will enhance your experience while reading this post.)

For whatever reason, Charlie - sweet Charlie, insists on chewing his nylabones on top of our metal heat vents. That is when he's not gallivanting through the house with them in his mouth, dropping them with a big bang-clank everywhere he goes.

The following is what can happen with such risky behavior. Let this be a warning to nylabone-loving dogs everywhere:

Oh, my....however did this happen???

A close-up of the casualty. And no, that's not a combination of dust and dog hair in my vent. How dare you even think it.

Desperate and running out of options, Charlie calls Mabel in for help. After this picture was taken, Mabel shook her head and walked away.


"Whud aw we gonna dooooo mom?" (Charlie can't pronounce "T's" or "R's" very well)

In a stunning show of intelligence, Charlie opts for the larger nylabone model, but is quickly drawn back to the small one in it's precarious position.

"I'm towwy (sorry) widdle (little) nywabone!" (Okay, Charlie has trouble with most letters of the alphabet.)

Inconsolable....

*Danny and I both tried to wrench the nylabone out of the vent with no success. As of now, it remains in peril.*

Paid in full

There's a joke amongst medical students that we're all so far in debt with student loans that the only thing we can afford to be is doctors. Sadly true, unless one were to run off to LA and become the "triple threat" like J. Lo. I don't foresee this happening anytime in my future because I'm really only a single threat. I can't sing or act, but I'd like to think that I can dance. But my sad, flabby little postpartum belly is something that should not be wiggled about. At least for now. How did I go from talking about student loans to my midsection? Redirecting.....

Anyhow, although we've been blessed by wonderful families who give us everything and anything they can to make our lives easier, it's rough sometimes to get by on a teacher's salary, especially now with Miss Louisa. We just bit the bullet and got a new-to-us '01 Camry (with a little help from my grandma....okay, a lot of help. Thanks GG!) The civic was starting to feel a little small and rickety and it is quickly approaching 200,000 miles. It was decided by all that Louisa needed a safer car. Forget about Louisa's parents. We are chopped liver. It's all about the baby.

We found a great car with pretty low mileage, but it had a little damage to the left rear panel that needed to be fixed before it started to rust. The guy we bought the car from had an estimate from a body shop for about $700.00.

After we bought the car, we took it to a collision center which is owned by some dear friends. We frequented their business all too often when we owned "Black Betsy," an '05 Corolla that was cursed by the devil and destined for mutilation. We sold her after her 5th wreck in 2 years, none of which were our fault.

My parents were going to pay to have a keyless entry device installed in our new car for a Christmas present, so the car spent a few days getting un-dented, re-painted and keyless-entry-ed. Danny and I went to pick up the car last week, fully prepared to pay for all of the services....it was a good investment, after all. We picked up the keys as the owner walked by.

Us: Car looks great! How much do we owe you?

Him: Um....well....nothin'. Been paid in full.

Danny: (bends over to pick jaw up off of the ground. He's tall....it hit pretty hard.)

Me: (thinking to myself "don't cry, don't cry, don't cry!")

Us: (after Danny's mandible had been reattached to the rest of his face) No, really...we need to pay you.

Him: Nope. Merry Christmas.

Wow! They always give us a deal and do fantastic work for us, but this was completely unexpected. And it wasn't done for any recognition or praise, just a great guy helping out some crazy kids who are trying to make ends meet. After several hugs and handshakes, we left the shop and headed home. Danny took the Camry and I climbed back into the civic to run some errands. Well, to go to Target. It beckons me.

While I was driving to Target, his words kept replaying in my head....paid in full. (don't cry!) He didn't have to do that! (okay you big baby, no tears!) I was still dumbfounded, humbled and elated all at the same time. And I couldn't help but think about someone else who paid our debt in full. Someone who, a few thousand years ago was born into this weary world to bring hope, healing, restoration. Who taught us how to live, how to love and how to give. He was ultimately crucified, but rose again and offers forgiveness and life eternal to those who love Him....for free. He takes our dented up hearts, makes them whole again and says, "Paid in full."

So during this Christmas season, I am thankful for our wonderful families who give so much of their time and resources, I am thankful for a warm home, plenty of food to eat, a new-to-us car and the generous man who fixed it up and in doing so (whether he realized it or not), gave us a little glimpse of the love that our Heavenly Father has for us.

I hope you all had a blessed Christmas this year!

I will now step down off of my little pulpit and retire for the evening :)

Another Friday at the Bartlett's

On a normal Friday night, we would go out and party hard into the wee hours of the morning. Actually that's a lie. We did that in college. Okay, that's a lie too. We're lame and have always been lame. I'm planning on a hard core midlife crisis someday.

Tonight was a nice Friday evening. It started out by getting our church on - Danny likes to watch the live web casts from a church in St. Joseph. So we did church on the couch with coffee and a jabbering/sleeping/eating baby. Then I snuck off to take a bath while Louisa was watching her "Your Baby Can Read" DVD. If they made a "Your Baby Can MCAT" we would probably own it. Yeah, she's 4 months old....what of it?

My bath was fantastic. I really needed it, and not just because I needed the relaxation of a hot bubble bath with a glass of wine (thanks Chris & LeAnn!), but I actually hadn't bathed in a while and was really starting to smell like rotting cheese. How is it that a baby can drink milk and then spit up cottage cheese? I'll never know. Anyway, my bath was so great, with my favorite candles and new bath gel.....and after my first glass of wine I barely noticed the hairball laying on the side of the tub. And the mold growing around the caulking.

I got out of my bath and Louisa started fussing a little bit in the other room. Oops! I guess mommy can't help you. Would hate to damage your cute little liver. Daddy!!! So I went upstairs to change and Charlie followed me. I got my jammies on and then hopped in bed with one of my favorite guys....the smelly/hairy one (Charlie ~ I realize that wasn't so obvious). We snuggled for a bit and he rubbed his slimy little snout all over the pillows. (My mom is cringing right now.) He got his belly scratched, his chin rubbed and lots of smooches. If everyone in the world had a one-eyed pirate dog, the world would be a better place! I might need a second bath now though.

We came down stairs and Danny was putting Weezy to sleep. She has recently learned to roll from her back to her front and likes to practice doing so at every opportunity. The only problem is that she can't roll to her back from her front and she really despises tummy time. So we'll roll her back over and pretty much immediately she'll roll back onto her tummy.....and resume the face-planted screaming. This is a prime example that just because you CAN do something doesn't mean that you SHOULD.

Speaking of examples.....last weekend I was cleaning the house (and I use the word "cleaning" very loosely) and spent a great deal of time painstakingly cleaning the salt and pepper shakers. As I was doing so, I realized that I was really missing the forest for the trees. But boy did those salt and pepper shakers look GOOD!

Okay, my Friday night is coming to an end. Danny just kissed me and went to bed. I should probably head that way myself.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! If you get the chance, take a nice, hot bubble bath and smooch a shaggy dog!

PRMCE

In the grand tradition of entrance exams (MCAT, LSAT, GRE), I propose that the Price is Right institute a minimum competency exam, the PRMCE. This test would be administered to any potential audience members before being allowed to enter the studio. Questions would be similar to those listed below:

1) Put the following numbers in order of smallest to largest:
1 100 10 10,000 1,000

2) If Carlos spins the wheel and gets an 85, and on your first spin you get a 45.....
a) should you spin again?
b) what do you need to spin to tie Carlos?
c) what do you need to beat Carlos?
d) If you spin higher than a ____ you will have gone over.

3) Which of the following options is the correct way to say the following number: 11,267
a) One hundred eleven thousand two hundred and sixty-seven
b) One thousand two hundred and sixty-seven
c) Eleven thousand two hundred and sixty-seven
d) Eleven
c) Eleven point two, six, seven

4) Fifteen thousand nine hundred and ninety nine corresponds with which of the following numbers?
a) 14, 999
b) 115,999
c) 1,599
d) 15,999

5) If someone bids $500.00 on an item and you think that the item is less than $500.00, it is a good idea to bid $499.00.

True/False

6) Have you shopped at a grocery store in the past year?

7) Have you seen a Ford Focus commercial in the past year?

8) If the wheel has to go around one entire time, how many times does the wheel have to go around?
a) 1/2
b) 3/4
c) 15/16
d) 1



I know I'm a bit of a hard a$$, but I think that a perfect score should be required for entrance to the Price is Right.

If anyone knows Drew Carey, would you be kind enough to pass this on to him?

Left Out

I don't know how she did it, but Mabel Jane figured out that I blogged about Charlie and didn't mention her. Oops! Feelings have been hurt. Big sad Basset eyes are in full effect.

Here are a few pics of my little Mabel Jane to make her feel better....

Crazy Lady!

Starved for affection, Mabel attempts to sabotage my study time.

Mabel would like you to think that she's classy and only plays with the highest quality toys.

This picture proves otherwise.

Hitting the bottle on New Years. You should have seen her doing keg stands! Talent.


The next day....

A favorite past time. I was afraid she might take flight with those ears!

Please rub my belly.....please please please. Please somebody....just love me!

Clearly she is very neglected. Hardly gets any attention.


Poor thing.

CHARLIE!!!

If I were a betting woman, I would put money on Louisa's first word being Charlie. Not because he's cute and cuddly and is quickly becoming Louisa's buddy, but because we say his name 50 bajillion times a day.

Most of the time, his name is used in phrases like:

Charlie, get DOWN!

Charlie, stop that!

Charlie, drop the pacifier!

Charlie, stop chewing that!

Charlie, what are you doing!?!?

Charlie, NO!

Come here Charlie....NOW!

For the love of Pete, Charlie!!!

Charlie, don't lick the baby's face!

Charlie.....Charlie.....CHARLIE!!!!

Despite his orneriness, we sure do love that little feller! The following is a list of the things that he has eaten/destroyed in the past few months:

numerous pacifiers

numerous nursing pads

one nursing bra (sorry Julie)

2 pairs of my underwear

one pair of baby socks

the tassles off of two of Louisa's stocking caps (hand made by GiGi) (What kind of tassles did you think I was talking about?)

3 hair bows

too many pieces of paper to count

Louisa's commemorative birth certificate from the hospital (just one corner)

one sleeper

2 burp cloths

one shoe

one rattle

one stuffed rabbit

one bib

And, my personal favorite, Louisa's immunization record. He was kind enough to throw that one back up :)

I'm sure I'm leaving several items out, but I think you get the picture. Regardless, he's our sweet little one-eyed pirate boy/wiggle butt and we wouldn't trade him for the world.

So don't be surprised when Louisa's first word isn't Mama or Dada, but CHARLIE!!!!

Red Suit

I tend to gravitate toward the color red for important life events. I wore a sequined red gown for Danny and my first prom, a red suit for my med school interview, the same red suit for my Pop's funeral, and yesterday I bought a new red suit for my residency interviews - Red Suit 2.0, if you will. I would have worn red suit 1.0, but for some reason (read: recent birth of child, can't stop eating corn bread cake slathered in honey butter) the skirt is a little snug. I did try on a black and white skirt/jacket combo for my interviews, but the combination of shoulder pads and a shiny pleather belt didn't really scream "PROFESSIONAL!"

So, about the interviews. If you've spent much time in an academic medical center during the fall/winter months, you've probably seen herds of people, all dressed in black, walking purposefully through the hospital. You probably wondered where the funeral was, but these people were actually 4th year medical students interviewing for residency positions. I guess you could call intern year the funeral???? These people can be distinguished from similarly fashioned pharmaceutical reps, because on average, the drug reps are way more blond, thin and big boosmed. Oh, and they have the little rolley suitcase things full of pens and other fun toys that they use to entice unsuspecting doctors to prescribe their drugs. Anyhow, my interview at KU is Friday. From what I understand, it should be pretty laid back, and unlike med school interviews, this time, the program is trying to impress the interviewee, instead of the other way around. So, I expect all to go well, barring any unforeseen, spontaneous leakage of milk from the breasts.....canNOT forget the boob pads!

Okay, so that's all I've got for now. Going to try to be better about blogging over the next few weeks. But before I go, a random thought: Pizza seems much less fattening when it is cold because the grease has solidified....and thus....seems much less greasy.