Did my second 12 hour shift in the ER on Tuesday. Unfortunately this time there was no helicopter. And still no George Clooney. There was, however, a thumb with a big, fat, gaping hole in it from a misdirected steak knife. Oops. Hopefully a certain someone learned a lesson and won't try stabbing at grapes with sharp objects anymore. Hopefully. But judging by the other scars on this patient's hands....well.....he'll be back.
That was really the only exciting thing that we saw all day. Then there were the people who, for whatever reason, think that the ER is their own personal pregnancy testing facility. Really? Have you heard of EPT? They have them at Walmart. I know you're familiar with that place.
And you, ma'am? You're here because you had a "funny feeling" in your wrist? I'm sorry, you must have the EMERGENCY room confused with the I'M SMOKING CRACK room. I haven't even started residency yet and I'm already jaded. I don't know about you guys, but I wouldn't even entertain the thought of going to the emergency room unless I was convinced that I was dying.
Speaking of being convinced that you're dying....I think this is a common theme among medical students/residents/doctors. Recently I noticed a big bruise on my arm, one on my leg and one on my tush. I didn't know where the arm and the leg one came from. The tush one came from an unfortunate fall down the stairs at my preceptor's house. Glad nobody saw that one. Not pretty....nor is the bruise. Right now it's turquoise, purple and brown. Kind of looks like a Monet. Anyhow....the other bruises. I had no idea how I'd gotten them, so of course I start to suspect that I have leukemia. Random bruises, fatigue - I fit the description perfectly. So I resolved to pay better attention to the things that I bump into. By golly if I don't run into a bunch of stuff during the day. Yesterday I ran into a door in the hospital, bumped my knee on the bedpost in my room and ended the day by attempting to run and jump into the gigantic bed I sleep in here in Iola. Well, I misjudged my distance a bit and didn't quite make it onto the mattress, but instead hit the side of the bed and sort of slid down to the floor. Glad nobody saw that one. So, apparently I'm kind of clumsy. Since I can now account for all of my bruises, I've ruled leukemia out of my differential. But now the question lurks: Why am I so clumsy? Surely there is something amiss in my brain! I probably need an MRI.
Well, I'm going to head to bed. Tomorrow is my last day in Iola. We have another section in the morning, then I'm headed home to the big city and my big chubby baby.
*as usual, patient information has been altered to protect the innocent*
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2 comments:
Why didn't you tell your momma you fell down the stairs? Poor baby!
Hmm. It costs a lot to go to the ER. I know, because of terrible advise from my employeer, it cost me $400 for them to tell me I was dehydrated and give me gatorade and advil. Come one people! Urgent Care is way better!
Rach
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