Gradumication

About seven and a half years ago, I was sitting at a desk, working as a receptionist for EVCO Wholesale Food Co. in Emporia, KS.  One day, between taking telephone orders for chicken gizzards and being heckled by Sarge, the crusty old warehouse manager, I had an epiphany.  (Do I use too many commas?  If this bothers you I'm sorry.)  Where was I?  Oh yes, the epiphany.  I was going to be a doctor.

And that night I had a very interesting conversation with Danny.  Well, it wasn't so much a conversation as it was me talking about my change in career plans and Danny sitting there with his mouth agape wondering what had happened to the person he had just married.  

I had started out at KU as a pre-med major (mostly because it sounded good when people asked me what I was majoring in), but after taking chemistry and biology I thought, "Golly-gee-wizards!  This is hard!" and opted for a journalism degree.  I was going to be an uber-successful, uber-blond, Manolo Blahnik-wearing pharmaceutical sales representative.  But lo....that had too many syllables and I wound up as a receptionist at a food wholesaler making minimum wage and wearing knock-off Manolo Blahnik Tims (you know, the one's J Lo used to wear).  Fate is cruel.

Follow this link for a picture of me on their website.  Yep....quit working there in 2003.  They just can't let me go. Or they haven't updated their website in seven years.  Either is plausible. 

http://www.evcofoods.com/customer_services.htm 

You're welcome to leave me a comment telling me how I haven't changed a bit since then.  Or, if you have an aversion to lying, don't write anything.

Be that way.  

Where am I going with this?  I've forgotten myself.

My name is Christi, it's 2010, Barack Obama is the president....

Oh yes.  Graduation.

Last night, seven and a half years after my epiphany, I walked across the stage at the Lied Center in Lawrence as Dr. Christi Leigh Bartlett.  I was hooded, handed my diploma and recited the oath of Hippocrates....all while wearing some stinking cute red shoes.  Still not Manolos.  That dream has died.  And go figure, the "hood" isn't even a hood, which I found somewhat disappointing.  But I still consider myself "hood"...you know...I went to Shawnee Mission North.

So that's what's been going on with me. As Oprah would say, it was a "full circle moment."  Then she would give me a big hug and invite me to her mansion in Montecito.  Nate Berkus would be there and he would give me decorating tips while lounging by the pool and sipping mojitos.  Charlie and Mabel would be invited too and would spend the day frolicking with Oprah's cocker spaniels.

Oh please!  Tell me you don't have an Oprah fantasy!  

Talk to you all later.

Sincerely,

Christi Bartlett, M.D.